The Magic Pill

Mood Swings from Hell

I used to have really bad mood swings prior to my period. My emotions would really run out of control, and because of that, I have regretfully ruined quite a few relationships in my life; I am sure many of you ladies can relate. I realized that people will not forgive you so easily, even if you had a very good reason for being mad at them.

Unfortunately, as I grew older, the mood swings have gotten worse. I speculate that this is probably because my body is asking for a baby. Even though I don’t currently want one, it seems that my body still does! 

I have tried everything I could to control my mood swings. I tried to work on any unresolved issues so they won’t surface during that time. I also spent more time with myself to relax, self-reflect, and avoid any conflict. These precautions have definitely helped, but they did not fully eliminate the problem. And so, I have accepted that it is my fate to experience monthly mood swings from hell, not knowing that there is actually a solution.

I was talking to a friend about my struggles, and she could really relate. Her mood swings were so aggressive that she went to a gynecologist for it. Her gynecologist, thankfully, has recommended a supplement that has changed her life forever. This supplement is Evening Primrose Oil: an over-the-counter pill that has a variety of benefits, one of them being relieving PMS symptoms. It can help improve your skin, too! You do not need a prescription to take Evening Primrose Oil, but you can check with your gynecologist just to be sure.

So, how does this magic pill work? Well, Evening Primrose Oil is rich in a fatty acid called gamma-linolenic acid (GLA). Here is a quote from healthline.com: 

Researchers believe some women experience PMS because they’re sensitive to normal prolactin levels in the body. GLA converts to a substance in the body (prostaglandin E1) thought to help prevent prolactin from triggering PMS.

I call it ‘magical’ because I have been taking it for a few months, and the results have been astounding. I am far less irritable premenstruation, and I feel that my issue has been finally resolved. 

While there hasn’t been a concrete study that 100% proves that Evening Primrose Oil is the ultimate cure for PMS, it has worked for me. I am sure there are other supplements that can help with PMS as well, and I encourage you to learn and explore, you don’t have to suffer continuously.

As I am writing this, I am realizing how relieved I am to be using the past tense in describing the situation. That in itself has got me emotional, but in a good way this time! I am generally a private person who is reluctant to share such personal matters, but I feel I absolutely had to share this one, considering how many women I know suffer from the same symptoms. So I hope you found this article somewhat useful, and give this supplement a try!

Resources:

Benefits of Evening Primrose Oi

Study on the effect of gamma-linolenic acid

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Dana Al Rashid is a writer and poet from Kuwait. She writes inAl Jarida newspaper and has also published a few English articles in Kuwait Times newspaper. She published a poetry book last year under the same name as her blog: “Reflecting Moon.” In her blog, more intimate poetry and articles can be found. You can read more of her work here. 

August 2019: BODIES

In its sixth issue, Unootha urges creatives to use their mediums of self-expression to discuss the symbol of bodies, to be raw and honest. The following bodies of work do just that, exploring different notions, from sexuality and intimacy as well as our region’s beauty standards and the damage they may have.

This issue also marks Unootha’s first year as a magazine and publication.

CONTENTS

Fatima: A Letter from the Editor

Interviews/Features

Sahar Ghorishi: How Sahar Ghorishi is Challenging Iranian Beauty Standards.

Shukriya: Shukriya’s Changing the Game. Here’s how.

Life

Anonymous: Deciphering the Language of Gibran

Anonymous: Blossoming

Raghda: Prohibited Pleasure

Dana Al Rashid: Body Love

Manal Aldabbagh: Body

N. Alsager: Our War Within

Fiction + Poetry

FICTION

Anonymous: She, An Angel 

POETRY 

Mars: BODIES 

Mawadah: If Only I Were An Ant 

Marwa Alqatari: An Open Faucet

Jood AlThukair: Continuum 

Alia Al Shamsi: My Sister’s Waist

Art

Rouda Al Darmaki: Hourglass

Maryam Jamal: would you wear someone else’s body? 

Maryam: Reframing Borders

Anonymous: Damage by Society

Dana Al Rashid: Tajmeel 

A Letter from the Editor

Although it’s been exactly a year since the day I had (tentatively) pressed publish to Unootha’s first issue, most of the emotions that had consumed me then continue pervade right now: a lot of anxiousness but also a deep appreciation for the womxn whose work and creativity allow these issues to exist in the first place. 

But this day also brings about another emotion, that of serendipity. It feels terribly serendipitous for the Bodies issue to mark our platform’s first year when it was my own body that had led me to Unootha in the first place. 

During my recovery from an eating disorder in early 2018, I found solace in reading stories of women and girls in recovery as well, but struggled to find the stories of Arab women who had experienced the same trauma. I couldn’t find any stories that I completely connected with, stories that were like my own.

During the past year, that inability to find a connection gave me a goal for what I hoped this magazine would symbolize to others. And so, with this issue, with this magazine, I hope that you are able to find solace, that you are able to find a connection, that you are able to read stories about bodies and tongues like your own, that you are able to tell your own story. 

Here’s to many more years guided by the storytelling and untamable creative spirits of MENA womxn. 

With love,

Fatima

Shukriya’s Changing the Game. Here’s How.

In our August issue, we uncover a melancholic side to Shukriya, a young creative and model based in the UAE.

Sarah Al Nuaimi for Unootha.

Q: Who is Shukriya and what does she stand for?

A: I’m a young creative who is learning as she goes. I make it a point to try as many new things as I can to be a well-rounded womxn. I stand for peace, acceptance, love and growth, and all the negativity that comes with it. 

Sarah Al Nuaimi for Unootha.

Q: Why @brokeindubay?

A: I get asked this a lot which is super funny. People think there’s a deeper meaning to it when in reality it was both me and my friend, Shamma, having a laugh about how people internationally have an idea of what it’s like living in Dubai. Meaning you live a very lush life and it’s a vacation everyday when in reality the majority of us are working like crazy and barely making a living.

Q: What was the message that you started with and has this changed after being immersed in the fashion culture?

A: I started off only exclusively speaking from a plus-size perspective, trying to advocate for girls like me who couldn’t shop, feel cute or just live a normal life without feeling terrible all the time. After time had passed and my platform got larger and larger I started speaking on a lot more than just that. I am only now realizing that I have a proper platform and people listen to me. So I’ve added the normalization of mental health, the hate and love I receive, and just being more transparent overall. 

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Q: Tell us more about the boundaries that you had to break in modelling as a plus-size model in the UAE (because that must be different from the growing inclusivity in the States).

A: I actually love this question. Crazily enough, my first serious modelling gig was with Namshi. I remember going in for that casting and just knowing I wasn’t going to get it. A fat and black girl with long box braids on an e-commerce website in the UAE? That sounded impossible to me, but I tried it anyway.

They got back to me a few days later and booked me for a campaign that was online for months. It was a big win for me and girls like me in the region who saw it. Sadly with opportunities like this there’s a very real issue where brands speak on wanting to be more inclusive now knowing that that is what our society is trying to achieve without actually putting in the work. I’ve been on a few jobs under the guise it was for empowerment when they wouldn’t even have clothes for me. Literally nothing would fit. I’ve made a conscious decision to be more aware of situations like that.

Sarah Al Nuaimi for Unootha.

Q: When starting a styling project (#StyledByShuks) you specifically targeted plus-size persons, why did you take that step and what gap are you combating? Where do you see this going?

A: #StyledByShuks stemmed from a problem I face myself. I love fashion and experimenting my style but shopping is so difficult. Having a fantasy of the perfect look but not having the tools to execute it is disheartening. The outfits and looks you see on my page or in real life take a lot more work that most people may think. As effortless and fun as they may be, I had to scour malls, stores, thrift shops, and online spots for them. It’s a task in itself. So I totally understand when girls who are bigger have dream outfits they can’t make happen on their own. That’s why I’m here to help! I’ve found ways to bypass the barriers. I see #StyledByShuks hopefully taking off and inspiring womxn like me to start reaching out to our sisters and helping each other look our best at all times.

Q: If you could verbally illustrate your journey with self doubt, what shapes and colors would you use?

A: My self doubt is intertwined with my mental health. Last summer I would describe it as murky black and square. Totally void of happiness and hope. Right now, I’m the shape and color of an aloe vera plant. Full of healing properties and goodness. 

Q: If you could pick a song that represents your life now what would it be?

A: Doja Cat – Juicy. It’s an ode to big girls and feeling good in your body and I feel so beautiful right now. 

Sarah Al Nuaimi for Unootha.

How Sahar Ghorishi is Challenging Iranian Beauty Standards

In this issue, we’re talking to Sahar Ghorishi, the young Iranian creative who believes that every creative gift has a purpose, and that hers is to influence. Sahar’s aim is to show the world what influencing actually means. She creates artwork on self-love and diaspora, and recently directed and produced a two-part series on Western standards of beauty and the Iranian nose.

Q: What is Journey of/to Dawn? What inspired you to create it?

A: Journey of/to Dawn is a platform that I created to make content and put on events for young Iranians. It’s also the name I’ve used for my own personal blog, and is derived from my own name. Over time, I realized that the name “dawn” is beautiful, meaningful and hopeful, that isn’t just a name, but a feeling and journey everyone can relate to. Thus, I’ve decided to use it in the name of the platform. 

I always felt like Iranians living outside of Iran feel separated and grow apart from it, and I also noticed that many Iranians outside and inside Iran are very influenced by Western standards of beauty. Therefore, I wanted to bring Iranians together and inspire them to think and love others and themselves. 

Q: What is the platform’s current focus? Why have you chosen this as your focus?

A: The platform’s overall focus is to make people think and to inspire them. We wanted to talk about topics that are usually brushed under the carpet within the Iranian culture. And I believe the platform can change the way people think.

Q: Who is the platform aimed towards? How can people get involved?

A: I started the platform to inspire young Iranians, however, that is definitely not to say we aren’t trying to inspire others from different cultural and ethnicities. Our team for our recent project weren’t just Iranians, so we inspire and involve others too. We are open to collaborations, so please do email and DM us!

Q: The film you created around the Iranian nose is unbelievably beautiful. Tell us more about the film, how the idea for it came about, the individuals who worked together to bring it to life, and what message you hoped it would get across?

A: So the idea came around during/after I went back home to Iran. I remember on my first day I visited my cousin’s salon. I was getting my hair and nails done and I felt happy to get a little pamper day. I usually don’t treat myself, so it felt good.

As I was getting my hair done, I had so many different people approach me about a common topic: nose jobs. Comments like, “You would look so pretty with a nose job,” and,  “You have a beautiful face, and a nose job would make you even more beautiful,” really made me feel less than I was. 

Two years ago, I was genuinely considering a nose job due to my insecurities created by beauty standards and rude comments about my nose. It was only last year when I decided that I was beautiful and canceled my consultation.

When I left the salon, I felt insecure again, but the day after I reassured myself that not everyone can see the beauty of an Iranian nose.

I also came to the conclusion that even those who have a nose jobs are judged and talked about. My belief that nose jobs are a personal choice and should not be influenced by the interference of others inspired me to create this film.

However, I could have never created this film without my amazing team! I really owe it to my editor and videographer Qasim, photographer Judith and stylist  Kourosh for bringing my visuals to life. All of the team felt passionate about the topic, which allowed to get our points across. I am so proud of our team and all the work that was put in.

The two part series highlights the topic of personal choice and the problem with Western standards of beauty. 

Q: What impact would you like the platform to have?

A: An impact on the mind and soul. The mind is powerful and sometimes it can trick us into thinking we are less. I hope that our platform gets people thinking and realizing that self-love, self-belief and respect for ourselves and others is beautiful, and that we are worthy in every way, shape and form.

Q: What are your plans for the future? What can people expect from Journey of/to Dawn? 

A: I’m very excited for everyone to see part two of our first project (The fall of the standard of beauty). We at Journey of/to Dawn just want to keep inspiring, and we hope to do a summer project so keep an eye out for that! 

You can find and support Journey of/to Dawn on Instagram here.

Reframing Borders

Hiding beneath all sorts of barriers, covering up all of those fragments within that wandered soul, her outward self is a reflection of her inner-self: reaching for the light, reformed at its finest. 

(مُخْتَبِئةٌ خَلْفَ حَواجِزٍ مُتَعَدِدةِ الأَوْجُه، حاجِبَةً أَشْتاتَ روحَها التائِهةُ. ظاهِرُها ما هُوَ إِلا إِنْعِكاسٌ لِسَريرَتِها، مُراقِصةً للنور في أوْجِ تَكْوِنِها…)

غائبة، غائبة

This self-portrait, triptych work is a journey between (Then… Now… Later…) (آنَذَاكْ… فِي هَذِهِ اَلْلَحْظَةْ… لَاحِقَاً…). The woman represented in the three different photos is walking through different stages or perhaps distinct phases of life. Between the past, present and future, she gradually finds herself and blooms.

The veil hiding the face is a representation of the border between the inner-self and the outer self, depicted in the visible hand tatted in the Arabic poem written by the poet and artist Ismail Alrifai about a moment of creation. She was never absent entirely; she was only representing bits and pieces of herself selectively.

غائبة، حاضرة

The shadows employed were used as a tool to reframe the boundaries of her body’s geography. Between her veiled inner self and those who are left outside of the veil is a delineated border that she drew and fully controlled. In her transitioning, she’s making a statement: “How about I deny you visual access? Only at times, then perhaps I will allow you a gradual exposure, until full visual access is permitted.”

حاضرة، حاضرة

Photographer: Khalid Alyasen

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Maryam is a Kuwaiti interior architect and art historian. Her interest and excitement for the exploration of art, architecture, education, and culture extends beyond the typical boxed ways of thinking. She is in a constant investigation of the construction and reconstruction of one’s self- identity and the representation of their own bodies.

You can find her on Instagram here.

Continuum

Dimanche, 1 Septembre, deux mille treize.

My mother tells me she had me memorize

French numbers when I was 3, but the only

ones I would answer to were in Arabic.

I know numbers bear truth, so I must’ve

forgotten them on purpose.

On the first day of class, I am new.

I say, “Bonjour, je m’appelle 

Jood, je suis quatorze ans.”

My Arab tongue so used to

melting sukkari dates with only

a few strokes, it melted my French along

the way. 

My grandparents crossed sand dunes until

they saw rivers, and I know I would’ve

spoken different hadn’t

they escaped the war and came back.

I ask questions of who I am, and Darwish 

answers, “I am multiple, within me an 

ever new exterior.” And so I try to understand.

Am I the melody in my father’s laugh,

or the width in my mother’s smile?

I took my grandparents’ eyes and plastered them

onto mine, so when the question begins

to bubble— “Who am I?”—

I can seal it shut.

I know I am the crevices in my grandma’s

palms, and the hump on my aunt’s nose.

But which part of my ancestors have

I taken for my skin to spill

as light as cold milk, and which

part have I taken for my hair to

burn like the sun?

My parents tell me I am what they

are, so when my mother tells me to

memorize foreign numbers, 

I do, because I learned who I am.

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Jood weaves her words in the heart of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Deciphering the language of Gibran

Reading Gibran Khalil Gibran’s words feels like falling in love. Indulging in the rhythmic silence of his work equates to an eternal season of summer. If you were to close your eyes and listen to the recitation of his words in Arabic, you’d hear not the words but a melodious tune; the qafs, lams and jeems dance in unison to birth poetry.    

I came across the following excerpt while reading Gibran’s The Prophet, a chapter on beauty:

People of Orphalese, beauty is life when life unveils her holy face. But you are life and you are the veil. Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in the mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

Here, Gibran provides a description of beauty that is rich in meaning. I haven’t read many of his books, but from the ones I have, I figured that his tone tends to be coated with a degree of vulnerability, and oscillates between ambiguity and certainty. In one of his novels, Broken Wings, Gibran portrays himself as a fragile man, while putting forth proclamations that are bold and daring – he spoke his mind. This asset in particular drew me to his work and eventually led me to The Prophet, where I learned that joy can coexist with misery in a writer’s work, perhaps in a writer’s life. Love with frustration, vulnerability with strength, ambiguity with certainty and so on.

The excerpt above resonated with me and provoked a horizon of possible interpretations. Gibran attempts to challenge the dogmas of beauty by explaining his own. Different perceptions of beauty were proposed by different people, yet Gibran dismantles the complex notion of it into a simpler explanation: the various perceptions are nothing but desires, and as cheesy as it sounds, beauty is found within oneself. He invites his readers to contemplate inner beauty by drawing a comparison between the beauty that emanates from within and eternity. While external looks may change, inner beauty remains constant.

According to Gibran, the reason we resort to the corrupt image of beauty is to fulfill our worldly desires and cravings, when in reality true beauty lies in the gratitude and contentment of the soul. Our existence is eventually reduced to nothing but a vast emptiness, therefore, everlasting perfection belongs to God. The presence of life, health, passion, and intelligence is beauty in itself, and Gibran encourages us to see that. We must allow ourselves to indulge in its holy presence. 

Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the east….   

She shall come with the spring leaping upon the hills.

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The author of this piece has requested to remain anonymous.

Hourglass

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Rouda Al Darmaki is a 17-year-old student from Abu Dhabi who enjoys long midnight walks, painting and reading. 

If Only I Were An Ant

my favorite pair of jeans reach for my veins

pre-teen years

I think of how nice it must be to be an ant

I stitch my waist and my gut spills all over

an abstract painting I’ve become

the more I look in the mirror the less I understand 

I look for so long my eyes dry open

nit-picking at things to scribble over

like body parts were misspelled words

my eyes drown into the back of my skull every time I smile

a family member calls to ask why I’m frowning in all the Eid pictures 

mornings are for migraines and embarrassment 

pictures from the night before,

I thought my body knew better than to overstay its welcome

my palms sweat as I awkwardly tower over you 

what I’d do to be an ant today

would I still be bigger than my little ant friends?

the first time I realized I take up a little too much space

I am nine and a strange man asks me to turn into a shadow 

what a gross thing to tell a little girl

like you’re declaring me public property 

giving me license for more self-hate

If I was shorter, if I was smaller

If I were an ant

everyone says their body is holy, a temple 

well, my temple feels clumsy and disproportionate and tired

a teenager in an 85-year-old’s body 

my phone camera swallows me whole

and I find comfort disguised in a McDonald’s meal

and big grey sweaters in the middle of summer

ants crawl onto my shoulder, I’ve been one of them all along.

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Mawadah is a 17-year-old artist and writer based in Riyadh. Born in Cairo, Egypt but growing up between America, Canada and Saudi Arabia has made her explore themes of diaspora, identity, growing up, and culture. She aims to de-stigmatize and create conversations on uncomfortable and important topics. Mawadah loves dogs, museums, travelling and her ukulele.